Sun Don't Shine

Text:

© marocon
The letter of the lawless
Was perfect and as flawless
As a princess who was braless
While looking for some solace
From the curses that befall us
Like a grizzly that will maul us
Or some other kind of bollocks
Like how to shove that olive
Where the sun don't shine

You curse it and you mutter
When your engine starts to sputter
What to think of all the nutters
All the slashers and the cutters
In the basements and the gutters
Make you shiver make you shudder
But you best be using butter
If you're ever going to shove it
Where the sun don't shine

You tap away on twitter
Like a crazy baby sitter
Stuck forever on a shitter
Cause you've never been a quitter
Or a four hundred hitter
As the runt of the litter
You find you're very bitter
Cause you could never fit er
Where the sun don't shine



Try and bury all the sorrow
With the smiles that you borrow
From the mountain of tomorrow
Disembodied feeling hollow
Disappointments often swallowed
Made you needy something awful
Game of chance the casino
As a mule you hide the kilo
Where the sun don't shine

Your life is so vanilla
Of excitement no scintilla
You should have some peccadillos
Add some flavour sarasparilla
Go commando you're a thriller
As you puff a cigarillo
Can't mistake that you're a mother
Why the t-shirt says to shove er
Where the sun don't shine

The Frankenstein of Mary Shelly
In your mind and on the telly
In the seedy underbelly
Something's fishy something's smelly
Spin it like a Machiavelli
If you've got the royal jelly
On your toast and at the deli
If you know me you can tell me
Where the sun don't shine

In an office elevator
Push a button activator
All the robot terminators
Heart attack defibrulators
Do it now procrastinator
Ask me how interrogator
Line them up you regulator
Mark it on the indicator
Where the sun don't shine

Johnny was a quarterback
Nearly had a heart attack
With the nymphomaniac
Swore the farmer's almanac
Was her favourite paperback
She could really knock em back
We were in a cul de sac
Don't you know it's jet black
Where the sun don't shine

At a party with a Yeti
Everybody called him Freddy
He was really kinda sweaty
And he showered with confetti
As he honed his machete
With an eye on my spaghetti
And I wasn't feeling ready
For a tussle with a Yeti
Where the sun don't shine

It's more'n just a rumour
My encounter with a cougar
She was curvy she was cuter
Than the girls I saw at Hooters
I was quickly outmaneuvered
Got some lessons from my tutor
And she even used a ruler
To let me know she weren't foolin'
Where the sun don't shine

He was really very shaggy
In my camper eating shreddies
But then he spied my Betty
Who no longer wore her teddy
Bare assed and acting friendly
Oh no menage a Yeti
And I was just not ready