Voice of an angel, fists like iron

Text:

© WanHu
Maybe the last time you heard a calypso song was Mike Read getting the whole thing wrong
By being racist and lacking respect at the UKIP conference
What did you expect?

I like the celebratory tradition
And its hypnotic rhythmic tedium
Although most Calypsonians appear to be
Members of the artistocracy

You had Lord Protector and Lord Invader
Lord Beginner and Lord Kitchener
The Black Prince and Atilla the Hun
King Eric Gibson was another one

The girls were fewer, and of modest mind
Like Singing Sandra and Alison Hind
But if my Youtube song gets lots of hits
You can call me Lord Sugar-t*ts

I learned just one fact from my Dad
There are no Hurricanes in Trinidad
And Calypso further appeals to me

I don’t have to write a tune you see

So it’s a musical expediency which supports a topical immediacy
As I sing a social documentary about the forthcoming Fight of the Century

Not Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao Those Corporate boys can have really blown it now
The girls have knocked them off their perch, look! It’s Katie Hopkins versus Charlotte Church

In the blue corner.....
When Pauline Cafferkey was flown by air to a London hospital’s intensive care,
Having risked her life to help save others, her father, sisters and her mother,
Unsure if Pauline would survive the week, had to read Hopkin's offensive tweets
About sweaty sock ebola bombs.
Don’t thinks she's apologized or said she’s wrong.
Katie Hopkins, evil incarnate, from somewhere soft, like Brompton or Barnet,
Says children named after places are socially inferior,
But the stupid b*tch named her own child India.

In the red corner
Voice of an angel, fists like iron, a Mighty Sparrow or a Roaring Lion
She can bench press 200 pounds and easily last the 15 rounds. For though she's no longer married to him, she's still got possession of Gavin's gym.
She sang for Presidents and the Queen, the Pope and Simon Cowell’s team.
One day she'll be my Emmylou, at least that's my recurring dream.
Ting ting
Round 1
Charlotte lands some stinging blows on pasty face and breaks her nose.
Blood pours down on Katie’s shirt, it looks like she is really hurt
Round 2
A quick, but brutal, combination of punches finds their destination
Katie slumps down to her knees and whimpers "please don’t hit me please"
Round 3
The referee could show compassion, stop this one sided, senseless thrashing
But the crowd is calling out for more Hopkins blood on the canvas floor
Round 24
Katie’s head is punched clean off her shoulders and rolls off the canvas like a crimson boulder
A crow swoops down, pecks out her eye, but spits it out before he flies
It’s not that it’s heavy, that's not it, Hopkin's eye just tastes like shit
Oh, 100 grand is the winner’s purse, and Hopkin's dead, so it could be worse
But nothing gives Charlotte greater pleasure than sitting next to Cerys as a National Treasure

Voice of an angel, fists like iron, a Mighty Sparrow or a Roaring Lion
Nothing gives Charlotte greater pleasure than sitting next to Cerys as a National Treasure