Truth behind closed doors 1

Text:

© Shamika

Poem 1
Whatever you trod in years ago
still clings relentlessly
Repeated gouging stimulates
a latent pungency

Once fresh and pliable
now a moulded pile
more liable
to cramp your fragrant style

Wash away the odious dust
until both soles are free
that stubborn, offensive crust
beneath your feet . . . is me

Poem 2
When you shouted at me I would shout back at you
When you lifted your voice I got louder
When you showed me a face full of anger and rage
Then you looked like you couldn't be prouder
To make me feel stupid or helpless or small
So I'd make a face too, start a real free-for-all
Where we'd try to outdo, usurp and prevail
The pattern repeated, got pointless and stale
When you wielded your fist and moved in really close
I'd resort to defenses and lunge
But when twist turned to squeeze and grab turned to punch
I played dead and succumbed like a sponge
To soak up abuse, take whatever you'd give
Accept you don't care if I die or I live
I'd hide all the evidence, say I'm to blame
For stirring you up, for igniting your flame
Now, when you shout at me I keep out of your way
And I try not to put a foot wrong
Give you space and respect, then lay low and reflect
How I must free myself before long
I'll be quiet and good, know my place, know my fear
I will serve and I'll wait holding back every tear
Till I'm safely alone, even though that is rare
I'm a hostage, a victim with no way to share
And I wonder how something so wonderful came
To a point where we lost all the trust
Now it's hard to remember the love that we had
Oh please, when did beauty get thrust
Into hatred, resentment, abuse and conceit?
I know I should shop him or leave that deadbeat
But I can't find the strength to see reason, get out
So I'll just bite my tongue... hold my breath when you shout.