The Ex Files

Text:

© Shamika
There was a South American called Dave
I met him at a Weekend Rave
He was cute and he was funny
And he let me spend his money
But I soon gave him the Mexican Wave

A magician from Virginia called Nick
Always held the bucket out when I felt sick
He said that loving me was easy
Till I started getting queasy
Then he had to do a disappearing trick

Then along came Dean
He used to cook and clean
Took care of my every whim
Though I had an easy life
I wasn\'t looking for a \'wife\'
So I had to take the sweeping brush to him

Ted was good in bed! Rory told a funny story! Andy brought me Candy every day!
Paul was kinda small, but I\'d always give him a call when Butch and Lofty had to go away

Next was a musician, name of Hugh
Always stood on guard outside the Ladies loo
He\'d serenade with his guitar
At every club and pub and bar
Now he\'s signed and gigging out in Malibu

Had a liaison with Peter in the Spring
He even bought a fine Engagement Ring
He told me that there was no other
But then I met his loving Mother
He was tethered to her apron string

Then back came Dean
(You know, the one that used to cook and clean)
I saw him in a brand new light
He\'d wash and sew and iron
So I said goodbye to Brian
And today I will be walking, walking down the aisle
In a dress that is whiter than white.... you know he sewed 7,000 sequins on that dress - arranged all the flowers in the Church.... and he iced the cake